Balance sheets

Why do they call it bookkeeping? It should be bookhurling cause that is what I feel like doing. Statementburning, numbermelting could work. Or maybe a let’s get a little more descriptive: crazymaking. Or lifesuckingevil.

I’m up to my eyeballs in old bank statements, and excel spreadsheets. As part of my attempt to move banks and convince the Pin Stripes that be that I’m a Bona Fide Business, I’ve been preparing my P&L account and balance sheet to accompany my business plan.

Now, I know that sitting down to the books every week would have meant that I was on top of it all and that I would need only extract a file from the depths of my computer and email it off to Mr Pin Stripes. ah yes. Note the use of the word ‘would have’. Thank goodness I did the last quarter at the beginning of the year – meaning instead of 12 months of records I had only… 5. So have spent the last few days putting the figures all in the right columns, and trying to make sense of the numbers. All those numbers. Numbers on numbers on numbers. The stuff of nightmares.

I worked until my brain was so tired the very tenuous sliver of understanding I was holding on to (with both hands) (in a white knuckle grip of death) suddenly and very abruptly was no more. Thank goodness I still had enough sense in me to stop. Or probably more correct, thank goodness my knitterly friend E arrived so that I could stop, and regain a sense of the good of the world (evil Excel, evil evil evil numbers…. ). I was so reduced by the evil-excel-sucking-of-the-life-force experience that I couldn’t actually pick up any knitting – too much brain power required to count those stitches- so I contented myself with some very soothing spinning and drafting instead.

Thankfully on Wednesday as well I had a nice sojourn from the books – Irmgard and Pam journeyed down to visit the flat and spoil me with a nice lunch! We had a very cute young waiter, and we talked of old beaus (beaux?), Pam memoirs (which I hurried her about so I could buy and read the book already!) and Pam and Irmgard told me about their first meeting, way back when I was still living with B in Brixton, and B’s first meeting with L, D & N in Ontario. It made me teary (and Pam too!). A lot of giggling at the table and Pam managed to get the waiter to blush!

And more things to be thankful for, this coming weekend – both for the bank holiday and for all the fun things to come. David is taking me to a play tonight – God of Carnage, date with Indy Jones tomorrow (with hubby. We’re an open minded couple!), Jenny & Andrew’s wedding on Sunday and then a second visit with the Dynamic Duo, B & Paul and little Sophia on Monday.

Now back to that blasted lifesuckingevil…..

2 thoughts on “Balance sheets

  1. oh Alice, I do feel for you…I will be in the same state soon, my business was registered at the beginning of May and I am keeping all my ins and outs in a draw! I must start using excel, so much to learn and understand! Horrid horrid paperwork, hoorah for knitting and good friends!

  2. oh poor you – my brain seizes up too when confronted by numbers. Anyway, I’ve responded to your meme!xx

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