I got the phone call I’d been waiting for today. I know you were very ill, and very weak, so it wasn’t a surprise, but the truth of it still took my breath away. I will miss you so much. I can’t quite believe you are gone. I’m so thankful that I got the chance to see you and tell you how much your friendship has meant to me. That I got to tell you that I love you. Things we never really say to our friends as often as we should. I wish I told you more often how much I enjoyed our friendship. I wish I had never ever been angry with you. What a waste of energy and time. Time I’ll never get back. I wish we’d finished your tulips cardi. I sort of wish I’d camped out on your doorstep so I could have spent way more time with you – but then that just enters the realm of the weird and slightly creepy – so I’ll stop the wishing and just say I feel so lucky and so thankful for your friendship. You are a woman with great sense of humour and I can’t think of anyone else with whom I’d want more to share a Nando’s take-away (with that awesome strawberry dressing).
It is sad to say but I think true that loss gives a person a stronger grasp on what matters, and a better perspective on the crap that doesn’t. For me, I will remember you by making sure I live better. By celebrating life, friendship and love and not taking these things for granted. By not sweating the small stuff, and by letting go of the petty. I’m glad we didn’t really say goodbye – I couldn’t bring myself to say it – but when you held my hand and said, ‘it’s just goodbye for now. We’ll see each other again’ it made me feel better, because I take comfort in that thought and it makes your leaving a little more bearable. I’ll miss you dear Koala. Rest in peace.