My mom keeps telling me that the antenatal classes are good – if only so DH can understand and see for himself the whole hooha of pregnancy and delivery. He has this terrible habit that makes me absolutely nuts – if you’ve seen the Wedge Salad episode of Modern Family where Phil spends the entire episode trying to figure out why his wife Claire is so mad at him… well, that’s me & DH in a nutshell. It goes like this:
Me: Hey you should totally try this – it’s really yummy/cool/useful.
DH (having never seen, tried, tasted or heard of what I’m suggesting): No way, yuck/not cool/not useful, I don’t like it. Too expensive/weird/strange. Not going to try it.
Me: [shrugs shoulders].
Days, weeks, months later…
DH (all excited): So and so told me about X that is yummy/cool/useful so I gave it a go – and it is! You should totally try it.
Me: ……(breathing through flared nostrils)
DH: What’s wrong?
Me: ……(counting to ten)
Me: You mean the yummy/cool/useful thing I suggested before? That you were like ‘no way, yuck, gross, waste of money yadda yadda yadda?
DH: …. ummm..
The whole listening but not hearing thing unless it’s repeated by a third party – is it a guy thing? It made me laugh in our first antenatal class when the teacher told the class that women experience heartburn and shortness of breath because the baby is taking up space where lungs and stomach usually sit. DH turns to me and says in a knowledgeable way “That must be why you are getting heartburn and can’t breath”. Of course, I had already told him exactly that, but as expected, my words vaporised in the air before they could reach his brain. I can only imagine that I must speak at a frequency that he can’t actually hear. Anyways, he is as horrified as I am by the videos (we saw a hospital birth video – rather, I was late and he watched it – and a C-section video). Maybe more so since he has been way more solicitous and conscientious about stuff that is getting harder for me to do (like bending down). The C-section vid showed the epidural needle and how it goes in…. and we were given a demonstration how this massive needle sort of gets worked and wiggled into the epidural space in the spine. Knowledge is power and all that… but in this case I think I could have done without all the visuals. Understanding how the process works and what to expect is great, but yeurgh. There are some things I would be totally okay with never seeing.
I had another appointment with the OBY before he heads off on hols next Friday. No scan today since I had one last week, but Blueberry is still doing well, wriggling and in the right position (clever girl!). I also had to get my HK ID card sorted this morning and headed to the Immigration Tower in Wan Chai.
Really very efficient, I was in and out in less than an hour. Got thumb printed, photo taken, interviewed and assessed (which wasn’t much more than them double checking my thumb print). It was next to the law courts, so I also got to see silks! Afterwards was a quick trip to Holly Brown’s for the weekly knitting meet up.
Time to make dinner (have a yen for greek salad) and wait for the arrival of our weekend guest – my childhood friend Cam, who I haven’t seen in like more than a decade, is coming to Hong Kong to visit. Good times. 🙂
Oh and if you are thinking about joining this year’s Knit Love Club – now’s your last chance! Sign ups close at midnight GMT on Sunday 15 January. More details here.
Socktopus Unplugged 
You’re spot on about men and pregnancy . It gave me a good laugh.
It is most defintely a man thing aarrgghhhh ! x
That would drive me insane. Kudos to you on breathing through flared nostrils. I’d likely throw something at him, or bash him with a pillow 😉
Enjoy your visit this weekend
@Nic, lol oh I get to store things up for him. He likes to think he’s totally rational and reasonable but when I lay things out for him – his own words – he tends to realise how not reasonable/rational it really is then gets all sheepish and apologetic. The trick is to do that before I lose my top. Not always that easy!
Hey Alice, great blog.
We are also taking antenatal (prenatal) classes here. Yours sound much more visual than ours. I must say though, it has helped Howard understand why I can’t do all the things he expects me to do, and he’s becoming a little more empathetic to my pregnancy plight! Now just waiting for this kid to make the grand entrance!!
Take care.
@Gillian, Oh totally! If I had to watch the vids in exchange for more understanding from hubby then it isn’t so high a price to pay. Our teacher told us that husbands should categorically not watch the epidural needle go in as it is quite disturbing to watch … but frankly given what we have to go through I think it ought to be compulsory for them to feel a little more than just nerves!!! He had the gall to complain about having to submit to a needle for a flu jab on the same day I had my glucose test (multiple vials of blood every hour for 3 hours). Not long now…….
It’s a guy thing. Re: the ante-natal class — information is useful but don’t let it freak you out. Having gone through surgery last year, it is helpful to know what’s going to happen (e.g., so when they pull out the epidural needle you’ll know what it is and won’t freak). My friend referred to the anaesthesiologist who did her epidural as Dr. Feel Good. At that point, you won’t remember them inserting the needle — it will just feel better once it’s in (if you have an epi). It’s normal to be anxious in anticipating the unknown. I spent so much time googling about the procedure that I finally had a self-imposed google embargo until I was through the procedure. But everything went fine. It sounds like you have great doctors and you will be great (and you will have a cute little blueberry when all is said and done). And then the real fun begins!
Oh dear, David is sooo like his dad . They have to think it was their idea for whatever so we have to play it a bit devious ,or just be patient, or give up! Not good when your hormones are upsy down.
Glad he’s attending antenatal with you ,hope he can see it through . You wont see whats happening from your end only feel your body doing what nature intended for us,he will see far more so hope he doesn’t faint!
XX
@Sue, LOL – he wouldn’t dare not go to antenatals with me – he knows I have a LOOOOOONG memory and I won’t hesitate to remind him of some of his more selfish whoppers (much to his chagrin and embarrassment). “You ruined my Christmas” in a lapse of maturity when his room service (my suggestion for some timing of activities reason) fried breakfast wasn’t delivered in time on Christmas morning is a classic. He still turns a little pink in shame when reminded of it….
Defintely a guy thing. My husband does it as well. I so enjoy reading your blog. Good luck with the childbirth thing. This might be view as heresy– but never had the desire to have children. Your descriptions of your antenatal class affirms that decision! Wishing you a safe delivery with a healthy Blueberry nesting comfortably in your arms!
@Kimberley, Thanks! LOL for the longest while I preferred the idea of getting a puppy to having a baby! If I’d seen those videos before …. it might still be that way. 😉
Such a guy thing – sad to say it doesn’t go away. We’ve been together for over 25 years & it still happens. Silly guys.
You are almost there. Just one more month!
xxx
@CaroleNJ/SloKnitR, 3 weeks to go now… eek!
My husband is exactly the same. I think all men suffer from selective hearing!! I’m so excited for you – your little family is going to get bigger with the arrival of ‘you know who’ very soon!!
It totally is a guy thing. I don’t remember now who it was, but this humorist ranked the male inclination to listen (and believe) something said to him and wife ranked below bum on street corner. Jo
@Jo, that made me laugh out loud!
I’m so excited for you:) You are just a wee bit closer than I am to giving birth (and I think you somehow made mine happen!) 🙂 I’m on a base in Germany and have not attended any of the classes, because they are always scheduled when my husband is working:( We are going on a hospital tour this week so hopefully it will be informative. But I agree with you regarding not needing to see visuals of certain things:) My biggest fear so far (besides raising a good kid!) is not getting the epi! I’ve heard so many stories from people here saying that if you don’t get to the hospital within a certain amount of time, they don’t do it. And then some say they don’t do it regardless…no one can give me a straight answer! Can’t wait to see pictures of your little blueberry:) Ours is an alien t-rex:) hehe:)
Oh Alice! Hilarious. You know the one thing I still bring up with Paul is the time when we were talking about Sophia’s birth and the aftermath and Paul said, “oh yeah you found breastfeeding really hard for like 2 weeks.” My jaw dropped. That’s how he remembers 4 months of extreme discomfort/pain? So glad he even noticed!!!!!